BRO10 – A Decade of BROstock

Is it a coincidence that decade just needs three more letters to become decadence? We couldn’t find the answer on Google, but after the tenth BROstock this past June we’re gonna say nope. Plus, Motley Crue… never mind, you’re probably too young for that. But just when you thought the tricks couldn’t get any better, or the party couldn’t get any crazier, or the beer couldn’t get any… beer-ier, BRO10 came along and smacked us all in the face. And ass. Not always in that order. So what did we at Alliance do to make the tenth iteration of wakeboarding-double-up-party shenanigans even more special? We brought our 21-year-old intern. Boom goes the dynamite.

The intern, soaking it in

As it has for the previous three years, BROstock kicked off with the charity drink-a-thon golf tournament at Tan-Tar-A Resort in Osage Beach. Local partiers fans were paired with pro riders and sent off shotgun style for a 9-hole round of best-ball golf. The thing is this might be the one tournament where scores don’t matter and there are no winners or losers. It’s basically a party that takes place on a golf course. Think Caddyshack, but with wakeboarders. Think gut-wrenching hilarious, but with alcohol and hilarious-er. Trust us, when you mix wakeboarders, fans, booze, golf carts, and some golf, it’s an unbelievable concoction of awesome. The actual golf highlight (of which there were few) was a not-totally-sober Jimmy LaRiche hitting a 150-yard 7-iron shot for eagle on the par 5. Barefoot. Non-golf highlights (of which there were many) included JD welcoming and then rejecting his friend-for-the-day Jack, the shoeys served to forced upon the golfers that missed the green on Alliance’s par 3 hole, and a cart that may or may not have ended up in a pond…

Henny’s backswing: not as good as his back lip    Photo: Rutledge

 Truth be told the golf gathering really is a great way to kick off the BRO weekend, although that sentiment might have differed had the contest started first thing Friday morning. Fortunately for everybody involved the first rider off the dock wasn’t until 2:00 PM the day after golf, so riders’ heads were in the clear (relatively speaking) for some double ups.

Nothing but the best of tech for the BRO competitors     Photo: Rutledge

 

While some cynical riders and staff might bemoan BROstock as a “same party, different year” endeavor, it’s still BROstock, and as Adam Errington so aptly described it, “It’s just not real here.” Things got typically unreal really fast for BRO10 as the die hard flotilla-goers congregated ridiculously early and proceeded to party rage. If there were a dictionary just for wakeboarding – and “ridiculous” was already taken by Bob’s hair – “ludicrous” would be reserved for the BROstock flotilla. It is laughably insane. Take a couple hundred expensive boats, lash them together while double up rollers bounce them around, turn the stereo up to 11 (with different music coming from each boat), and introduce booze to everybody on board. That is the BROstock flotilla. That is ludicrous. And it makes everybody cry happier.

 

Were there elements of “same year, different party”? Of course, but these are all things that have come to define BROstock and make it that much better:

• Shitshow flotilla party
• Jersey Joe
• A little rain
• PBR Dave
• Beer bongs
• Crazy dude in the banana suit
• Monster Girls laughing hysterically at other girls in the shitshow flotilla party doing stupid things for free stuff
• Dudes going hog wild for BRO edition Spy shades
• DJ Lamont spinning at Captain Ron’s
• Gregg Necrason driving double ups
• Everybody’s jaw dropping watching Randall hit double ups at 27 MPH

 

Randall-sized half-cab front     Photo: Cortese

There were a few different things this year though, too. For instance, rather than taking part as a rider, doing a backside 7, getting knocked out in the first round and subsequently flooding his liver with PBR; Kevin Henshaw was a judge this year. So instead he flooded his liver with PBR from the first round on while sitting in the boat to help decide who would win $15,000. #NBD. The other difference this year actually made Kevin and the other judges’ jobs a bit easier. A handful of riders had to bail at the last minute because it was that time of the month, they weren’t interested in $15k, their girls made them… well, who cares, right? This left the field at 16 riders, which made it not only easier to judge, but also guaranteed every rider there a piece of the money pot. #winning

Langley giving it a go     Photo: Rutledge 

As is always the case with BROstock the action was better and more riveting than many expected. Much of this was thanks to Randall for once again launching like only he can. The other strong performances were probably due to the second late start time in a row… #whathangover But right off the dock with his first trick in the 8-man final Harley Clifford landed a clean double indy tantrum. Harley took the 2014 title with that very trick, so all seven remaining riders knew they were going to have to put up or shut up. Of those seven, the only one who put up a fight was none other than JD Webb, a rider who hadn’t been to BROstock since it was back in Lake Powell. On his third double up JD stomped a wrapped nose grab toe back 9 that had everybody on the start dock going nuts. To see a trick like that landed in a setting like BROstock is pretty insane. Harley set the bar and JD had at least matched it, but it was all up the judges. In the end, after some more serious PBR thinking, it was decided that not only was JD the winner of first place, but he was also Mr. BROstock, which, to be perfectly honest, is worth well more than $15k in just the morale boost alone.

Claiming it is totally acceptable when you’re landing a wrapped toe back 9 at BROstock…     Photo: Cortese

 

Good luck?     Photo: Rutledge

 

BROstock 2015 results

1. JD Webb
2. Harley Clifford
3. Bob Soven

Podium stoke     Photo: Rutledge

In the end, despite the seemingly endless similarities year after year, BRO10 was both a great time and a huge success. Not only has BROstock proven to be both the best contest and party rolled into one year after year, but it has continually allowed fans one hell of an awesome way to watch the best riders in the world up close and then party with them all night later. Find one person from BROstock who didn’t have a good time and you’ll likely find a person who needs to see a doctor to have the stick removed from their ass probably just partied too hard too early, passed out, and missed all the fun. After a couple days of partying at Lake of the BROzarks during BROstock, it’s to be expected you’ll wake up on Sunday smelling of regret PBR and Fireball, but when you’ve got 362 days to recover you know you’re coming back from more. And what good is regret if you’re already thinking about next year?